• Archive of "marriage" Category

    1 More Week & Then I’m Free

    June 28, 2009 // 4 Comments »

    This is my last week as a single guy.  Come Sunday, I’m a married man and I couldn’t possibly be more excited about it.

    Handicapped by a devastating view of what freedom is really all about, marriage is often portrayed as the end of freedom – think Seinfeld, Friends, Everybody Loves Raymond, etc.  Here’s 3 reasons why, in opposition to that sort of notion, I am so excited to get married that all have to do with a new freedom I am about to embrace.

    1) I don’t have any regrets from my season of singleness so I am free to embrace the adventure of marriage. I embraced, celebrated, and enjoyed my singleness.  Happily, I had good friends and mentors who taught me that singleness is a gift and should be treated as such as long as God grants it.  Shame on our culture (especially any Christian culture) for making people feel inferior for being single for as long they are able to embrace it as a gift.  Spend your single years pining away for a companion and you are all but destined to struggle with being married.

    2) I don’t have to play the dating game anymore anymore so I am free to pursue God in the context of a covenanted relationship. I can’t count the number of couples that have spoken of marriage as a context which brought them face to face with their own selfishness and shortcomings like never before.  With all the guessing, ambiguity and semi-commitment of dating, this just doesn’t happen.  Again, fortunate enough to have come across people and books that dispelled lies about the purpose and aim of marriage, I am anxious to embrace marriage as a crucible toward Christlikeness.

    3) Amy is not “The One” or “Mrs. Right” (since these only exist in fairy tale land), so I am free to never ask ridiculous questions like, “Did I marry the right person?” Don’t you love how freeing that is?!  The ability and opportunity trade in a cheap and shallow freedom along the lines of, “Well if this isn’t working I can always just bite the bullet and admit that I made the wrong decision,” for the true freedom of moving forward in the context of vows made and kept, is priceless to me.

    And though it doesn’t pertain exactly to freedom, it’s nonetheless true that a big part of my excitement has much to do with the incredible woman who said, “Yes.”  To partner in life and ministry with Amy from here on out is the single most exciting thing that has ever happened to me.

    Posted in Amy, love, marriage

    I Live With a Girl (and I think she might be Wonderwoman)

    June 22, 2009 // 8 Comments »

    Oops!!  Update:  As my brother pointed out, Amy is actually Wonderwoman, not Superwoman.  Props to his lady Michelle catching that one.

    OK, not quite yet really, but it’s coming quick.  For the last month and a half I have been staying in Amy’s apartment in Elgin while she stays with friends.

    1st apartment

    (mailman decided to add my name to the box since we only have 1 address)

    So here I am in this apartment, surrounded by girl clothes, girl decorations, and all other manner of girl things and I think to myself, “Wow, girl stuff is not like boy stuff.”  And I am confronted with the startling (though welcome) reality that “mine” is becoming “ours,” “I” am becoming “us”, and “me” is becoming “we.”  You’d think that for who has lived independently as long as I have, this would cause me to break out into a cold sweat as I crawl around in the darkness of stress-induced blindness searching for a paperbag to calm my hyperventilating panic attack, but I am happy to report that this hasn’t been the case.  Why?  Mainly because Amy is just about the most amazing woman ever!

    Seriously, Amy amazes me.  I have totally hijacked her apartment, separating her from all the comforts of a place you call your own while she stays in a simple bedroom with friends 20 minutes away.  She keeps most of her clothes and stuff that she needs on a daily basis largely in the trunk of her car since our lives are so sporadic and she never quite knows what she will need.  When we spend a day together, no matter how late we’re together, she’s the one that has to get in a car and make the drive home.  She works full-time while I look for work and do what I can to help plan for the wedding.  She does it all with a smile on her face and a bounce in her step.  She radiates grace and compassion and her presence is a constant reminder of God’s great love for the world and little ol’ me.  If you need any more evidence, here you go.

    super Amy Picture 1

    Case closed.  Amy is Wonderwoman… only cuter.

    Posted in Amy, marriage, wedding

    Wedding Help

    March 19, 2009 // 15 Comments »

    Amy and I are looking for some help with our wedding and the events (including honeymoon) surrounding it.  Aside from it being a beautiful and memorable day, we are hoping to infuse as much of what we are going to do with theological significance and creativity.  We already have a good number of friends that are going to be vital in helping that to be a reality, but, believers in networking that we are, we’d just assume hear from as many folks as possible.

    So, wonderful people out there, what ideas, experiences, and resources do you have that you’d like to share – we’re all ears!

    (think… cost saving, creative enhancing, meaning infusing, deal finding, value reflecting, & God-honoring)

    Please pass a link to this on to anyone that you think might have something to contribute – facebook it, twitter it, bookmark it, whatever.

    Posted in Amy, marriage, social networking

    An Engagement Trip

    March 17, 2009 // 5 Comments »

    Thanks to the generosity of Amy’s team leader and co-workers, she was given the opportunity to work remotely for the last two weeks.  Throw in three weekends, and you’ve got almost 3 full weeks together!

    And thanks to some too-good-to-be-true family and friends, that time was jam packed full of fun and memories.

    If you missed it, be sure to check out our engagement story, cause that’s where the fun began.

    proposal-scene

    Engaged on Friday night in Chicago, we drove back to Memphis on Saturday, on the phone virtually the entire time and dreaming about our wedding and honeymoon inbeetween (details on both, TBA).

    A neighbor gifted Amy and I with two tickets to see “Light in the Piazza” at the Midtown Playhouse.  It was a fun and romantic show and we had a great time.

    light in the Piazza light in the Piazza

    There was a blizzard in Memphis Saturday and Sunday, so attendance was way down at our morning services, but two of my co-pastor friends took it upon themselves to announce Amy and I’s engagement from up front to much applause and congratulations.  We spent the rest of the day with our friends taking turns holding baby Asher.

    baby-asher-friends

    On Monday Amy and I were off to Washington DC.  We were there for a church planting conference and had the chance to stay a couple nights with Amy’s aunt and uncle as well as see a few friends we each have there.

    dc-2dc-with-abby-and-crisdc-1

    Amy was there as a representative of iTeams - making connections with those who are looking for ways to help people get involved in international missions, and I was checking into Ecclesia as a possible resource and partner for Living Hope as we think about church planting.  The conference was fantastic and we were really happy to connect with our friend and Fuller professor, Eddie Gibbs.  Got to see some of the city on Friday afternoon and then we were off to Ohio.

    My mom picked us up at the airport and after visiting for a few hours – it was lights out as we were both dog-tired.  Saturday morning we traveled down to Canton to see some of my closest friends.  We spent the day with them, talking all kinds of wedding details and just catching up.  Monday the 9th was to be my 30th birthday so my friends arranged a dinner and a party at my friend Jay’s sweet new downtown office.  Tons of people came to meet Amy, say congratulations, and Happy Birthday.  As usual, I got sick on Sarah’s puppy chow, but well worth it.

    bday party bday party

    Sunday was another full day of cruising around, meeting, and catching up with people – Meysembourgs, Snavely, Solida’s, Neftzer, Gouglers, and many others.

    Monday was a full day with my mom and other family.  Amy got the grand tour of Stow, where I grew up and got to meet both my Aunt Fannie and Grandma Ernsberger.

    stow tour - aunt fannie stow tour - grandma e

    Had an incredible dinner at Macaroni Grill with my buddy Kenny and then ice cream, cake (actually Boston Cream Pie – a personal fav!), and a few gifts back at home.  Amy had written to all my closest family and friends asking for pictures and short blurbs and she compiled them all together into one of the most meaningful presents I have ever received.

    30-bday

    We left early Tuesday morning to head back to Memphis where we were set to have a slightly more regular schedule.  Amy was working and so was I and thanks to the generosity of our good friend Lee, we had an extra car to use to help each of us get around to appointments and meeting spots.  Still, the days and evenings were packed.

    Tuesday we picked up the car from Lee, gobbled down dinner, and Skyped about all sorts of wedding related stuff with Amy’s parents.  Wednesday we cooked dinner and hosted my house group – that never ends early (which I love!).  Thursday the Donahoe’s, who host Amy when she comes to town, invited us and our friends Matthew and Lisa over for a celebration dinner and then we caught Slumdog Millionaire with Greg and Chandler.

    We did lots of wedding planning on Friday and then my friend Ryan from LA flew into town to spend a few days with us.  We took him to Rendezvous to get some good Memphis BBQ and then watched The Dark Knight (it just never gets old).

    rendzvous

    The night was rounded off with a midnight run to Gibson’s donuts for the after 11 – 6 donuts for 1.25 deal.  Saturday morning we met our friends the Kerrigan’s at Memphis’ best breakfast spot, Brother Juniper’s and then drove around some of the cooler neighborhoods in urban Memphis and even visited an estate sale.

    junipers

    Ryan and I went for a quick run and then the three of us went to see “Race to Witch Mountain.”  No, not because any of us particularly care for “The Rock,” but because Amy was in it.  She did some extra work while she was in LA and in the movie you get to see her twice during the credits.  Have a look!

    Sunday morning was filled with plenty of congratulations since it was the first time that many people got to see Amy and I since we had gotten engaged.  Ryan, Amy and I had a great lunch with our friends Zach and Liz and then we spent a few hours (she went nuts!) with Liz as she took some engagement pictures (not currently available).  We actually ended up being late for a surprise engagement party that my house group was throwing for us in the form of an ultimate frisbee game.

    frisbee

    We had a great time playing frisbee and then I had the privilege of baptizing a new friend who is on his way of to Fuller.

    baptism

    We spent the evening over at the Kerrigan’s eating up all the leftovers from the folks who have been providing them food while they adjust to having a newborn in their lives and playing everyone’s favorite game, “… And a bottle of wine.”

    While I was at staff meeting Monday morning, Amy and Ryan worked from a coffee shop in the Cooper-Young district and got to check out another great BBQ spot – Central.  We went downtown for a few hours to check out some of the sights and walk down Beale St. before Ryan had to had to the airport to head for home.  Amy and I had yet another great dinner with our friends Sam and Allison and then made a short little video for our wedding website (unveiling soon!).

    I just put Amy on the Megabus back to Chicago a little bit ago and I miss her already.  While we are bound and determined not to let it take over our relationship, the next several months will be filled with planning and preparation for our big days and those to follow.  We cover all your support and prayers as we try and figure out the future together and plan for a celebration of marriage that will be both enjoyable and meaningful to all those who can celebrate with us.

    Posted in Amy, church, family, friends, marriage, memphis, travles

    Amy G. Drops the F-Bomb!

    March 3, 2009 // 50 Comments »

    That’s right – just the other day, for the first time ever, Amy G., dropped the F-Bomb, and in reference to me no less!  The F-Bomb of course being, “fiance!”

    Amy and I got engaged this past Friday night, and in just 5 minutes and 30 seconds, you can hear the whole story in the video below!

    Of course we welcome your congratulations in the comment section, but we are also taking our time to think creatively, imaginatively, and theologically about all the details between now and the honeymoon.  So if you have any ideas, thoughts, resources, links, stories or whatever to contribute, please, please, let us know.  No, we don’t know the date yet.  Yes, we will have more updates as stuff gets decided on.

    Posted in Amy, love, marriage, video

    Lots of People in Hell Have Perfect Doctrine

    September 26, 2008 // 4 Comments »

    I was listening the other day to a message given by a teaching pastor that I respect.  He was teaching on baptism, specifically whether or not aspiring members needed to share the official doctrinal stance of the church before being accepted as members.  Rather than addressing that question directly, he decided to take a round-about approach.

    He spoke of how important it is for the church to create a

    relational culture…that is more intentionally and radically servant-like, other-oriented, thoughtful, outgoing, humble, thankful, aggressively concerned and caring, moving into the lives of others rather than moving away from them, committed to the hard work and sweet rewards of loving other people in the church.

    He drew these characteristics from Colossians 3:12-17.  And his point was essentially this; it is in this sort of context that wisdom flourishes and when wisdom flourishes we can hope to come to agreement about baptism.

    And here was my first thought.  If you have successfully created a relational culture of the sort mentioned above, who in the heck cares if you are in agreement about baptism?!

    Do you see what I mean here?  It’s like finding ways to mutually inspire love, affection, connection, commitment, and excitement in marriage and then, when you do, thinking that it would be a good idea to talk about how you define love.  Who cares how you define it if you ‘re already both experiencing it?  In fact, defining it might be the most sure-fire way to kill it as you nit-pick at nuanced differences.

    I am not in the least bit saying that there is no connection whatsoever between doctrine (what we say we believe) and praxis (how we live).  I am just saying that if you are living out a faithful Christian witness and example where God is glorified, your doctrinal stances matter very little.

    Another problem.  At another point the pastor said,

    As a member of this church, you can be wrong on election, wrong on the power of sin, wrong on the extent of atonement, wrong on the power of grace, wrong on perseverance, and wrong on the sovereignty of God… [but you can still be a member]

    Man, I chafe under this sort of mentality.  “We, as the pastors and elders, have all the important doctrinal stuff worked out, and you don’t have to agree with us to be a member here, but this is the way it is, and we will pray for you to come around.”  I can imagine nothing more inhibitory to what Chritian community is all about than this sort of mindset.  How is the church supposed to listen to the Holy Spirit and fall in love with God through Scripture together if it’s a 1-way street?

    I seriously pray for myself that I would always be more passioante about God than my limited ability to understand and articulate God.

    Posted in church, culture, doctrine, God, hell, love, marriage, preaching/teaching, relationships

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