• Archive of "marriage" Category

    (More) Things I Never Thought

    January 27, 2011 // No Comments »

    Way back in May of 2006 I wrote a blog post titled, “Things I Never Thought.” It was basically my own reflection on how the trajectory of my life had taken shape in ways that I didn’t expect or plan for. I had a number of friends mention that they appreciated the post when it was randomly retweeted from the archives so I thought I would do another post along the same lines, almost five years later now.

    In May of 2006 I was in the Spring quarter of grad school. I was taking Pentateuch w/ Dr. John Goldingay, Theology of Christian Community w/ Dr. Ray Anderson and doing a Directed Study in Narrative Theology w/ Dr. Ryan Bolger. I had just one more quarter to go and then I was going to graduate. As I thought about my future, I imagined heading in one of two directions. Either I would move back to Canton and re-establish myself in the community I had left behind and missed like crazy, or, if God didn’t direct that way, I would look for a pastoral position in either the Pacific NW or in the Northeastern part of the US – some place that was further along in terms of being a Post-Christian context.

    I never thought I would wind up working for Fuller’s MAGL program. I didn’t even know we had an MAGL program, but the opportunity presented itself and it radically altered my life. This will come into sharper focus below, but suffice it to say here, the model of theological education espoused by the MAGL and the relationships I made internally have had a tremendous impact on the contours of my life through to today.

    I worked with the MAGL program for most of 2007 and then various circumstances combined to lead me back to Canton. As I tried to discern a future related to engaging the missional church conversation in the Midwest, I connected with Dave Fitch for the first time and visited Life on the Vine. I was giving serious consideration to simply moving to Chicago just to be a part of LOV as the first church I had been exposed to that I felt like was actually expressing missional theology in its communal life, rhythms, and practices.

    I never thought I would get a call from a young church in Memphis, TN asking me to consider taking a position down there.  And I certainly never thought that despite my best efforts to dismiss it, that God would actually lead me to embrace the opportunity.

    I had a good experience at Living Hope.  I loved the staff, enjoyed connecting and working with young adults, and made some life-long friends.  I moved into mid-town, close to the part of the city where it seemed like some people from the church would think about relocating to, and anticipated a long future of investing the future of the newer church community that was seeking to embrace a missional identity and a heart for the city of Memphis.

    I never thought that I would reconnect (let alone marry!) with Amy Garrington, who had been a student in one of the MAGL cohorts that I was responsible for.  (See, told you that MAGL job was a big deal!)  But, as she was contemplating leaving Pasadena for a position at International Teams near Chicago, that’s exactly what happened.  We’ve been married for about a year and a half, have a baby on the way this June, and love where we live.  Amy and I both have some family that lives in the Chicagoland area, but…

    I never thought my brother would leave NYC and join us here in Chicago!

    There’s probably a bunch more “I never thought’s” that I could list out, but these are probably among the most significant of the last five years.  They serve as both a humble reminder and constant encouragement that when you’re more focused on listening and responding to what God is saying and doing than on ensuring the fulfillment of your own ideas and plans, life-changing surprises await you.

    I simply can’t wait for the next series of, things I never thought!

    Posted in Amy, decisions, Fuller Seminary, God, living hope, LOV, MAGL, marriage, midtown, missional, missional theology, post-christendom

    JR’s Career Path

    August 2, 2010 // 7 Comments »

    **I owe everyone an update on our support raising effort for the Lausanne Congress in South Africa that’s coming up in October and I promise to do that soon, but I wanted to throw out some exciting news regarding my career path first.

    Tomorrow, I will begin in a new role as Associate Director of Advancement for Northern Seminary.  In this PT position, I will be cultivating relationships with alumni and other supporters of the school and its mission.  On top of this, I have been hired as a communications consultant to do Internet Presence Management for the school and its programs.  Among other things, I’ll be creating and maintaining social networks for the school and its programs.

    For those of you who have been tracking with us personally, I want to try and articulate how Amy and I see this evolution of things.

    When Amy and I got engaged (Feb. ’09), we knew that it was going to mean one of us leaving a job that we loved.  I was a pastor to young adults in Memphis and she was a mobilizer for International Teams here in Elgin.  Through much prayer and support, I resigned my position and moved up here to Chicago (May. ’09).

    Though I’ve applied to no less than 36 jobs in the last year (3/month!), the bulk of my time has been given to largely unsolicited opportunities that have come my way and, I believe, have paved the way to this new position and consulting work.

    Over the last year I was asked to teach a class for Fuller Theological Seminary, TA a class for Talbot School of Theology, build web sites and create communication pieces for International Teams, do quality control work for christianaudio.com, lead an alumni project for Northern Seminary, write articles for Jovia Web Studio, and assist on Information Architecture projects with Uzify.

    The structure of our first year of marriage has been non-traditional I suppose.  Amy has worked full-time while I looked for work and gave my time and attention to these contractual jobs that just kept coming my way.  It’s very true that she’s been incredibly supportive and my biggest cheerleader.  She was often upset on my behalf when I was passed over for a position.  But I don’t want to paint a picture that the last year has been a struggle.  Quite the contrary, we’ve quite enjoyed the structure of our life for the last year and the flexibility it’s brought.

    For us, my saying yes to these new opportunities isn’t so much the end of a year long search for a job as much as it is another step in our ongoing attempt to be open and faithful to God’s work in our lives.  I am receiving these job opportunities not as relief after a year of drought, but as a new kind of gift in an ongoing succession of the same.

    Having this sort of posture toward God and God’s work has been incredibly formative for us and it instills in us an even greater sense of excitement and anticipation for the future.  To all those who have been praying for us, your labors have brought us not to a finish line, but simply to yet another stage in a life-long race of openness, faithfulness, and discernment.  We thank you for that.

    Posted in Amy, chicago, decisions, marriage, Northern Seminary, prayer

    1st Anniversary Trip to Pelee Island

    July 27, 2010 // No Comments »

    Whoa, 2 full weeks since I posted about the beginning of our 1st anniversary trip to Ohio for a wedding.  Time flies…

    On July 4, like good American patriots, we left Ohio for the promised land of Pelee Island on the Canadian side of Lake Erie.  I get excited for weeks beforehand when I know that I am gonna be able to get up to Pelee.  I love it there.  No hustle, no bustle, no cell phone reception or email.  Just the beach, the water, books, and people I love.

    This time around, our friends Matt and Sharon and their son Deacon were among the number of loved ones that we got to share some time with.

    The weather was hot, but gave us plenty of reason to lay on the beach and play in the water.  We did some boating, some tubing, made smores, shared stories, watched movies, and soaked in the enjoyment of fun and relaxation throughout the week.

    On top of all this, Amy and I continued to celebrate our anniversary.  Here’s our attempt to capture the specialness of the occasion.  Between the hitting, crying, bugs, and neighborly interruptions, I’d say we pretty much nailed it ;)

    We also managed to successfully tote the top of our wedding cake (which had already made its way from Davenport to Elgin), to our hotel in Ohio, in the car to Sandusky, and then on the boat to the island.  It was a well traveled cake, but tasted amazing. Every layer of our wedding cake was different and the top was no exception – tie-dye!

    So here’s to an unbelievable and unforgettable 1st year of marriage that was capped off by helping one couple celebrate the very beginning of theirs and spending time with another couple on the doorstep of a decade.  Cheers!

    Some additional pictures from the trip here.

    Posted in Amy, love, marriage, travles, video

    1 Year Anniversary

    June 30, 2010 // 2 Comments »

    This weekend will mark year one of marital bliss for Amy and I and it’s be an incredible year in more ways that I can possible say.

    To celebrate, we’ll be heading to Ohio so that I can officiate a wedding ceremony for 2 of my former students who will be living in the Chicagoland area and then we’ll head up to one of my favorite spots in the world, Pelee Island, with our friends the Matt and Sharon for some fun and relaxation.

    For anyone who remembers and enjoyed the recap from 2008, Amy and I are working on a recap of 2009 and hope to have it finished by the time we come back.

    So, you married veterans out there, as Amy and I reflect on our first year as husband and wife and do our best to ask some helpful questions of ourselves as we charge on into the future, what words of wisdom do you have to offer?

    Posted in Amy, friends, love, marriage, travles, wedding

    Married

    July 21, 2009 // 3 Comments »

    From 2 days to just over 2 weeks, the last 18 days have been some of the best of my life.

    Our wedding was amazing – everything we had hoped it would be and more.  I don’t think I mentioned this before, but in stark contrast to horror stories I have heard from others, Amy and I had a blast putting our wedding together.  Much of that was thanks to the fact that we both get a kick out of infusing stuff with as much meaning as possible so we really enjoyed thinking imaginatively together about the elements of what we called a weekend celebration of marriage (hope to share more about this in a future post).  Aside from that, we are just fortunate enough to have a lot of friends and family that were excited to pitch in and help.

    Our wedding photographer/videographer, Tim Miller, who you should definitely check out if you are in need of some mad skills, is sending Amy and I 2,300 pictures to sort through.  Until we have the professional stuff all put together, here’s a slide show of random pictures from some of our friends and family.

    Right before the wedding weekend kicked off, Amy and I invested in a Sony CyberShot that shoots video in HD.  Here’s some of those videos.  (Hint: If you have the time – just under 30 mins. total, they will automatically play in order.)

    Amy and I both want to say a huge thanks to everyone who contributed to and attended the most significant weekend of our life together – much love.

    Posted in Amy, marriage, pictures, video, wedding

    1 More Week & Then I’m Free

    June 28, 2009 // 4 Comments »

    This is my last week as a single guy.  Come Sunday, I’m a married man and I couldn’t possibly be more excited about it.

    Handicapped by a devastating view of what freedom is really all about, marriage is often portrayed as the end of freedom – think Seinfeld, Friends, Everybody Loves Raymond, etc.  Here’s 3 reasons why, in opposition to that sort of notion, I am so excited to get married that all have to do with a new freedom I am about to embrace.

    1) I don’t have any regrets from my season of singleness so I am free to embrace the adventure of marriage. I embraced, celebrated, and enjoyed my singleness.  Happily, I had good friends and mentors who taught me that singleness is a gift and should be treated as such as long as God grants it.  Shame on our culture (especially any Christian culture) for making people feel inferior for being single for as long they are able to embrace it as a gift.  Spend your single years pining away for a companion and you are all but destined to struggle with being married.

    2) I don’t have to play the dating game anymore anymore so I am free to pursue God in the context of a covenanted relationship. I can’t count the number of couples that have spoken of marriage as a context which brought them face to face with their own selfishness and shortcomings like never before.  With all the guessing, ambiguity and semi-commitment of dating, this just doesn’t happen.  Again, fortunate enough to have come across people and books that dispelled lies about the purpose and aim of marriage, I am anxious to embrace marriage as a crucible toward Christlikeness.

    3) Amy is not “The One” or “Mrs. Right” (since these only exist in fairy tale land), so I am free to never ask ridiculous questions like, “Did I marry the right person?” Don’t you love how freeing that is?!  The ability and opportunity trade in a cheap and shallow freedom along the lines of, “Well if this isn’t working I can always just bite the bullet and admit that I made the wrong decision,” for the true freedom of moving forward in the context of vows made and kept, is priceless to me.

    And though it doesn’t pertain exactly to freedom, it’s nonetheless true that a big part of my excitement has much to do with the incredible woman who said, “Yes.”  To partner in life and ministry with Amy from here on out is the single most exciting thing that has ever happened to me.

    Posted in Amy, love, marriage

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