• Archive of "Amy" Category

    The President, The Jerk at the Grocery Store, and Me

    February 10, 2011 // 11 Comments »

    Amy and I have been making our way through the former TV series, The West Wing.  If you’re not familiar, the show centers around the lives and work of the President of the United States (Jed Bartlett – played by Martin Sheen), and his key staff.

    Recently, an episode about the President and a real-life encounter with a jerk had me doing some personal reflection.

    The President

    In the show, a situation has developed in the Middle East.  A Palestinian terrorist has attacked a US motorcade, killing two congressmen and a retired Admiral, a close friend of the President.  This attack, it is suspected, is due in no small part to American support of Israel.  The suspected terrorist is then found hiding out in a residential apartment building.  Both Palestinians and Israelis are aware of his whereabouts, but neither side is willing to make a move due to their fear of how the other side will respond.

    82% of the American public, the whole of congress, and the majority of the President’s staff are calling for the President to order an attack on not just the building where the suspected terrorist is hiding out, but the countries suspected of supporting him.  All parties seem willing to accept not just the obvious civilian casualties, but the certainty that this will result in further violence, so long as America, via the President, is willing to exact justice (revenge?) on the supposed perpetrators.

    With blatant disregard for all these factors however, the President decides that the only way forward is to negotiate peace talks between Israeli and Palestinian leaders.  He accomplishes this by shrewdly orchestrating the apprehension, as opposed to assassination, of the suspected terrorist.

    Sidenote: This is at least one of the reasons that I have opted not to vote and believe that the prospect of Christians entering into the democratic political system is fraught with difficulty.  In cases like this, to whom do you show your allegiance?  On one hand, you are seemingly obligated to execute the desires of the people you represent, who elected you to govern for them.  On the other hand, if you are a sincere Christian, you are obligated to do justice in keeping with the life and teaching of Jesus.  But I digress…

    Against the advice of his political advisors and the overwhelming majority of Americans calling for blood, the President negotiates peace talks, believing that violent retaliation on the part of Americans will only play right into the hands of the enemies and beget more violence.  I was so proud of my fictitious, TV President!

    The Jerk at the Grocery Store

    The day after we watched these episodes, I had a meeting at a coffee shop and Amy was getting groceries.  She finished and came to pick up – all a-flutter.

    Turns out that the guy behind her in the self-checkout line was passive-aggressively verbally expressing his displeasure at the fact that my wife, who had a cart-full of groceries had opted to use the self-checkout line.  He made comments about her, not directly to her, but to someone else in line.  As she scanned some of the vegetables she had picked up and had to input their corresponding codes to get the right price, he was trying to confuse and mock her efforts.  Again, all w/o addressing her, just taunting her and taking advantage of the fact that no one else was there to defend her.  Amy isn’t really one for confrontation so she just remained quiet and choked back the tears as she grew more and more embarassed.

    Me

    As Amy recounted the story to me, everything in me wanted to drive back there, find this guy, and beat him until he apologized.  There was this raw flood of emotion and adrenaline that overtook me and I felt like it wouldn’t subside until I forcefully dominated the cause of my wife’s pain and embarrassment.

    We didn’t turn around and the feeling subsided, but after it did, I was left with questions…

    Why do I react like this?

    After years of seeking to internalize and cultivate a spirit of non-violence, why do these feelings still come?

    Why is my first reaction to violently end the sources of injustice and oppression rather than to run to the aid of the victimized and opporessed?

    At least in part, I venture to guess that the answer to these questions is that I haven’t encountered nearly enough situations in which I can put my theology to the test.  Sadly, it seems that had Amy and I been together at the grocery store, I would have gotten an even better glimpse into just how much work God has yet to do in me.

    Not to discount the role of personal discipleship in this matter, I am left pondering one final question.  What is the role of the church as a community in putting to death attitudes and actions of violence in followers of Jesus?  One might wonder whether or not our disposition toward Christian faith has become so accommodating to our broader culture that we don’t even know what this might entail.

    Until we do, at least we have Jed Barlett.

    Posted in Amy, church, culture, discipleship, non-violence, politics, questions, theology, war

    (More) Things I Never Thought

    January 27, 2011 // No Comments »

    Way back in May of 2006 I wrote a blog post titled, “Things I Never Thought.” It was basically my own reflection on how the trajectory of my life had taken shape in ways that I didn’t expect or plan for. I had a number of friends mention that they appreciated the post when it was randomly retweeted from the archives so I thought I would do another post along the same lines, almost five years later now.

    In May of 2006 I was in the Spring quarter of grad school. I was taking Pentateuch w/ Dr. John Goldingay, Theology of Christian Community w/ Dr. Ray Anderson and doing a Directed Study in Narrative Theology w/ Dr. Ryan Bolger. I had just one more quarter to go and then I was going to graduate. As I thought about my future, I imagined heading in one of two directions. Either I would move back to Canton and re-establish myself in the community I had left behind and missed like crazy, or, if God didn’t direct that way, I would look for a pastoral position in either the Pacific NW or in the Northeastern part of the US – some place that was further along in terms of being a Post-Christian context.

    I never thought I would wind up working for Fuller’s MAGL program. I didn’t even know we had an MAGL program, but the opportunity presented itself and it radically altered my life. This will come into sharper focus below, but suffice it to say here, the model of theological education espoused by the MAGL and the relationships I made internally have had a tremendous impact on the contours of my life through to today.

    I worked with the MAGL program for most of 2007 and then various circumstances combined to lead me back to Canton. As I tried to discern a future related to engaging the missional church conversation in the Midwest, I connected with Dave Fitch for the first time and visited Life on the Vine. I was giving serious consideration to simply moving to Chicago just to be a part of LOV as the first church I had been exposed to that I felt like was actually expressing missional theology in its communal life, rhythms, and practices.

    I never thought I would get a call from a young church in Memphis, TN asking me to consider taking a position down there.  And I certainly never thought that despite my best efforts to dismiss it, that God would actually lead me to embrace the opportunity.

    I had a good experience at Living Hope.  I loved the staff, enjoyed connecting and working with young adults, and made some life-long friends.  I moved into mid-town, close to the part of the city where it seemed like some people from the church would think about relocating to, and anticipated a long future of investing the future of the newer church community that was seeking to embrace a missional identity and a heart for the city of Memphis.

    I never thought that I would reconnect (let alone marry!) with Amy Garrington, who had been a student in one of the MAGL cohorts that I was responsible for.  (See, told you that MAGL job was a big deal!)  But, as she was contemplating leaving Pasadena for a position at International Teams near Chicago, that’s exactly what happened.  We’ve been married for about a year and a half, have a baby on the way this June, and love where we live.  Amy and I both have some family that lives in the Chicagoland area, but…

    I never thought my brother would leave NYC and join us here in Chicago!

    There’s probably a bunch more “I never thought’s” that I could list out, but these are probably among the most significant of the last five years.  They serve as both a humble reminder and constant encouragement that when you’re more focused on listening and responding to what God is saying and doing than on ensuring the fulfillment of your own ideas and plans, life-changing surprises await you.

    I simply can’t wait for the next series of, things I never thought!

    Posted in Amy, decisions, Fuller Seminary, God, living hope, LOV, MAGL, marriage, midtown, missional, missional theology, post-christendom

    Partnering in Kingdom Ministry

    October 4, 2010 // No Comments »

    Two weekends ago Amy and I were in Iowa.  We got to spend some time with her family and celebrate her birthday, but we also had the opportunity to guide about 20 students through a series of personality and spiritual gift tests.

    The students are all part of something called TOAG – Training Ordinary Apprentices To Go.  Catchy right?!

    They spend a year living in intentional community and doing various kinds of incarnational ministry as part of their preparation to serve as international, probably long-term, missionaries.  I think this is an incredibly helpful model of discipleship for mission and we were privileged to be a part of it.

    Our time with these friends was a huge reminder of just how much I miss investing in the lives of young adults (now is the first time in 8 years that this hasn’t been a major feature of my life) and how much I personally receive from doing so.

    We had fun, and I enjoyed leading these students through a presentation and guided reflection on their spiritual gifts, but man, what I really loved was watching my wife in action.   She has a crazy passionate heart for God’s global mission and a mature set of gifts to compliment her firm calling to mobilize people into it.

    With our trip to Cape Town, South Africa for the Third Lausanne Congress just over a week away, I am reminded of just how grateful I am that a passion to partner in Kingdom ministry forms the bedrock of our marriage.  It’s gotta be close to my favorite thing about life!

    Speaking of our trip to Cape Town, we are just about $1,500 $1,000 (We just received an incredibly generous gift of 500!!) shy of our support raising goal.  Not enough to keep us away, but significant enough that we’re still inclined to ask people to partner with us.  Below is a 5 minute video Amy & I recorded about this once in a lifetime opportunity.  If you’re inclined to partner with us, you can give here.

    Posted in Amy, conference, discipleship, intentional community, spiritual gifts, young adults

    JR’s Career Path

    August 2, 2010 // 7 Comments »

    **I owe everyone an update on our support raising effort for the Lausanne Congress in South Africa that’s coming up in October and I promise to do that soon, but I wanted to throw out some exciting news regarding my career path first.

    Tomorrow, I will begin in a new role as Associate Director of Advancement for Northern Seminary.  In this PT position, I will be cultivating relationships with alumni and other supporters of the school and its mission.  On top of this, I have been hired as a communications consultant to do Internet Presence Management for the school and its programs.  Among other things, I’ll be creating and maintaining social networks for the school and its programs.

    For those of you who have been tracking with us personally, I want to try and articulate how Amy and I see this evolution of things.

    When Amy and I got engaged (Feb. ’09), we knew that it was going to mean one of us leaving a job that we loved.  I was a pastor to young adults in Memphis and she was a mobilizer for International Teams here in Elgin.  Through much prayer and support, I resigned my position and moved up here to Chicago (May. ’09).

    Though I’ve applied to no less than 36 jobs in the last year (3/month!), the bulk of my time has been given to largely unsolicited opportunities that have come my way and, I believe, have paved the way to this new position and consulting work.

    Over the last year I was asked to teach a class for Fuller Theological Seminary, TA a class for Talbot School of Theology, build web sites and create communication pieces for International Teams, do quality control work for christianaudio.com, lead an alumni project for Northern Seminary, write articles for Jovia Web Studio, and assist on Information Architecture projects with Uzify.

    The structure of our first year of marriage has been non-traditional I suppose.  Amy has worked full-time while I looked for work and gave my time and attention to these contractual jobs that just kept coming my way.  It’s very true that she’s been incredibly supportive and my biggest cheerleader.  She was often upset on my behalf when I was passed over for a position.  But I don’t want to paint a picture that the last year has been a struggle.  Quite the contrary, we’ve quite enjoyed the structure of our life for the last year and the flexibility it’s brought.

    For us, my saying yes to these new opportunities isn’t so much the end of a year long search for a job as much as it is another step in our ongoing attempt to be open and faithful to God’s work in our lives.  I am receiving these job opportunities not as relief after a year of drought, but as a new kind of gift in an ongoing succession of the same.

    Having this sort of posture toward God and God’s work has been incredibly formative for us and it instills in us an even greater sense of excitement and anticipation for the future.  To all those who have been praying for us, your labors have brought us not to a finish line, but simply to yet another stage in a life-long race of openness, faithfulness, and discernment.  We thank you for that.

    Posted in Amy, chicago, decisions, marriage, Northern Seminary, prayer

    1st Anniversary Trip to Pelee Island

    July 27, 2010 // No Comments »

    Whoa, 2 full weeks since I posted about the beginning of our 1st anniversary trip to Ohio for a wedding.  Time flies…

    On July 4, like good American patriots, we left Ohio for the promised land of Pelee Island on the Canadian side of Lake Erie.  I get excited for weeks beforehand when I know that I am gonna be able to get up to Pelee.  I love it there.  No hustle, no bustle, no cell phone reception or email.  Just the beach, the water, books, and people I love.

    This time around, our friends Matt and Sharon and their son Deacon were among the number of loved ones that we got to share some time with.

    The weather was hot, but gave us plenty of reason to lay on the beach and play in the water.  We did some boating, some tubing, made smores, shared stories, watched movies, and soaked in the enjoyment of fun and relaxation throughout the week.

    On top of all this, Amy and I continued to celebrate our anniversary.  Here’s our attempt to capture the specialness of the occasion.  Between the hitting, crying, bugs, and neighborly interruptions, I’d say we pretty much nailed it ;)

    We also managed to successfully tote the top of our wedding cake (which had already made its way from Davenport to Elgin), to our hotel in Ohio, in the car to Sandusky, and then on the boat to the island.  It was a well traveled cake, but tasted amazing. Every layer of our wedding cake was different and the top was no exception – tie-dye!

    So here’s to an unbelievable and unforgettable 1st year of marriage that was capped off by helping one couple celebrate the very beginning of theirs and spending time with another couple on the doorstep of a decade.  Cheers!

    Some additional pictures from the trip here.

    Posted in Amy, love, marriage, travles, video

    1 Year Anniversary

    June 30, 2010 // 2 Comments »

    This weekend will mark year one of marital bliss for Amy and I and it’s be an incredible year in more ways that I can possible say.

    To celebrate, we’ll be heading to Ohio so that I can officiate a wedding ceremony for 2 of my former students who will be living in the Chicagoland area and then we’ll head up to one of my favorite spots in the world, Pelee Island, with our friends the Matt and Sharon for some fun and relaxation.

    For anyone who remembers and enjoyed the recap from 2008, Amy and I are working on a recap of 2009 and hope to have it finished by the time we come back.

    So, you married veterans out there, as Amy and I reflect on our first year as husband and wife and do our best to ask some helpful questions of ourselves as we charge on into the future, what words of wisdom do you have to offer?

    Posted in Amy, friends, love, marriage, travles, wedding

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