lifeasmission

In December I graduated from Fuller Theological Seminary with a Master of Arts in Theology and I am left wondering what to make of that.

I wonder what significance it has that Uncle Sam, and not the Church, financed my education.  What does that say about who believes in my potential?  What might that say about my allegiance as I am now quite in the debt of Uncle Sam and not my family, the Church.

No doubt I have been challenged, sharpened, and changed by my time in Pasadena and at Fuller, but what about the fact that I had to leave my home, my friends, and my ministry context in order to pursue the degree?

I have made many friends and been involved in all sorts of events and activities, but what about the relationships I have missed out on and the meaningful dimensions of life I had to leave behind?

I feel as though I have a better, broader, more robust theology, but I wonder what significance it has that this development came about largely apart from practical (I don’t mean church) ministry experience?

After finishing, I have questions and I have doubts, but I also have faith.  As I toiled over the decision to come out here I prayed, sought council, asked advice, fasted, and waited.  I won’t say that I felt God telling me to make this decision, but I certainly felt freedom to pursue it.  God has been with me and thus I have no regrets.  God is with me still, and thus I have hope for the future.

My dad tells me that this makes me the most formally educated Rozko ever.  My family and friends are proud of me.  Personally, I feel better for having made the decision to achieve this degree.  But what matters most, what reassures me more than anything else, is knowing that whether it was right or wrong and despite my fears and doubts, God, either in his providence or mercy (do we ever really know which?), and provided I yield to his will, will use this diploma and all that it represents “to will and to act according to his good purpose.” (Phil. 2:13)