lifeasmission

Things I never thought

May 1, 2006

Sometimes it can be crazy to think about the course or events of your life and how the most unexpected of things can wind up being the things that most shape and define you.

I never thought I would go to a Christian college, but in so doing, I found myself a part of a community of friends who shaped the way I think, see, and dream.

I never thought that when I graduated I would step into a youth ministry position at a megachurch, but these were three of the most formative years of my life.

I never thought I would relocate to California to attend Seminary, but the time I have had to spend with my family out here, living in a culturally and ethnically diverse community, and the friendships I have made are all some of the most important things in the world to me.

I didn’t plan for any of these things, they all sort of snuck up on me unexpectedly. In each instance, I ventured into stages of life that were both scary and held little intrinsic promise.

Many people told me that going to a small, Christian college was a horrible decision. Everything inside of me told me that accepting the position at RiverTree was a bad idea because of how far in over my head I would be. Coming to Fuller tore against every fiber of my being – it made so little sense.

What do all these things have in common then? They all share the common feature of being what I (and others) discerned to be the leading of God.

Sometimes I think about where I’d be, what I’d be doing, and who I’d be if I had decided to do what made sense and what was comfortable rather than taking risks and doing be best to follow what seemed to be God’s leading. I feel like I know 2 things for sure…

1) God would still be present, He would still love me, and He would steal work in and through me
2) My experience of Him, His grace, His provision, and the excitement of what it means to follow after Christ would be incredibly lessened.

I don’t think God’s promise to be with us is necessarily contingent on whether or not we take the risks and challenges he places before us, but like any good teacher, God can only give us what we are willing to receive. Once when I was completely stressing over a major decision I had to make, a good friend and mentor asked me, “JR, how many people do you know from Scripture that felt ready and equipped to do what God was asking of them.” None. There were none. Abraham, Moses, David, Isaiah, Mary & Joseph, the disciples, Paul, even Jesus himself, they all balked at, questioned, or otherwise demonstrated the insecurity they felt toward the task to which they were called. Why should we expect any less?

Heaven forbid that I ever lack the courage to follow where God seems to be leading – that I trade the depths to which I might know and expereince God in all his fullness for the sake of doing that which makes sense, seems logical, and ensures safety and security.

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