• Day 1

    March 13, 2006

    This didn’t start off the way I wanted it to.

    It’s been a while since I attended a standard church service. This morning, I decided to go with my rommate Ryan to the church service he typically attends at Christian Assembly. I planned on this being my opportunity for the day to spend some time in focused prayer.

    The reality is (I’m just being honest, so be gentle) I spent most of my time praying for Christians. You’ll have to take my word for it when I say I am getting as tired about criticizing and critiquing the Church in Western culture as most of you are with hearing me do it. But the fact of the matter is, there was basically nothing about this service that I found satisfying personally or theologically. The music was basically all “me” focused, and the sermon, which was about peace as a fruit of the Spirit, was the pastor’s commentary on a series of prooftexts which he twisted in such a way that they lost all historical implications and were interpreted individualistically. There was a baby dedication during which the entire congegation was asked to pledge themselves to supporting the parents as well as these infants, but the fact of the matter is, more than 90% of those who did so will never so much as talk to those families. I was sad.

    So I prayed things like this…

    “God, please help me to remember that you are mightily at work in all sorts of situations and that my (and our) failings are not insurmountable for you.”

    “Father, I pray that people would know your peace in their lives, but I pray even more that people would realize that your great plan is shalom for the entirety of creation and we are just a part called to participate in it.”

    “I pray that pastors and church leaders all over the world would boldly proclaim the gospel of your salvation, not as something that people can take or leave at their pleasure, but as a matter of reality, the importance of which knows no equal.”

    “Please open my eyes to how you may yet work through your covenant people to call those who follow you to repentance and humility. May this not be delayed, but hasten as we long to know the great power of your mercy and grace in the world.”

    “Father would you do whatever you need to humble me so that your power can be made perfect in my weakness. Thank you for the family and friends you have out in my life who are a constant blessing.”

    Amen

    – Here’s to hoping that the rest of my prayer times for the week are born out of either spiritual brokenness or joy and not more cynical disappointment.

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    Posted in: church, prayer

Recent Comments

  • Nick said...

    1

    You’ve talked a bit about what a sunday(Lord’s Day) sevice shouldn’t look like (not just in this blog, but also in past months), so it begs the question: In your opinion, which I respect, what should it entail? In other words, what would have been an experience that would have been more fulfilling on Sunday? And JR, may God bless you as you regurgetate all that you have learned over the past 3 months .

    03/13/06 10:51 PM | Comment Link

  • Nick said...

    2

    Also, I was wondering, did you feel love when you went into that place? Did you experience an atmosphere of love that is different than the “world”?

    03/13/06 10:57 PM | Comment Link

  • jrrozko said...

    3

    Hey Nick! Thanks for your comments. I don’t know as I have a set model in my head in terms of what a Christian gathering ought to look like. Basically, I didn’t have a problem with anything that went on, it was more the theology which seemed to be driving it. I love singing and I think God works mightily through preaching and teaching and the idea of baby dedications is especially apealing to me. I just wish those things weren’t so focued on individuals and instead centered on God, His mission in the world, and our role in that mission as a community.

    I can’t say as I felt especially loved in the context of the service, but then again I didn’t go looking for it. People herded through the doors at the last minute trying to get the best seat possible, many, I noticed, came and left having never talked to anyone else.

    None of that is to say that my experience was universally shared by everyone there, in fact, I’m quite sure it wasn’t. Anyway, this is all a distraction from the main point of my post.

    I want to cry. I am hurting and in pain. I am confused and scared. I am sick and tired of being cynical and jaded. But I can’t deny or escape what I feel. The hopelessness and despair run deep and I feel lost. I want to cry out to God for help. I want him to make everything ok again. I want to forget everything I have learned and I want to be able to ignore what I am incresingly convinced is God’s call on my life.

    But all I can do is pray.

    03/14/06 2:34 AM | Comment Link

  • Sam Andress said...

    4

    J.R.

    I “call” CA my home church and I agree with you on every count. In fact I am so conflicted because what I take part in with a smaller gathering is actually more church in the NT sense.

    We do have such empty claims in our large communities, they are not even communities, they are associations, like a Kiwanis club.

    Keep pushing and keep critiquing because God is moving and no doubt he is raising up new reformers as has been the case extending back into ancient Israel.

    Blessings bro.

    Sam

    03/15/06 4:11 AM | Comment Link

  • jrrozko said...

    5

    Thanks Sam. I certainly wasn’t meaning to take any kind of shots at CA in particular. CA is home for a good number of my friends and they love it there and I couldn’t be happier. I think you’re on to something with starting to think with the larger, corporate gatherings as “associations.”

    03/15/06 7:21 PM | Comment Link

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